I grew up in a home that celebrated the diversity between men and women. My parents scoffed in the face of gender stereotypes but also championed the true differences that exist between male and female.
I have two brothers, and as the only girl I experienced a life able to embrace true femininity. I saw how my brothers differed from me in ways that existed at our core, not as a result of expectations. I wore stereotypical “male” clothing, I played army, and most of my toys were G.I Joes, legos, slingshots and paintball guns. My mom tried to teach all of us how to sew and cook, but one of my brothers excelled much more in those typically “female” activities, while I preferred to spend my time exploring outside. Our home didn’t have gender stereotypes. I was allowed to explore according to my interests, not what was socially expected.
Still Different
Yet as we played and explored together, my brothers and I learned how different we were from one another. As much as I wanted to be like my brothers, I am still female. I showed physical toughness by enduring concussions, black eyes and broken noses without tears, but I was inherently nurturing, something my male brothers just simply couldn’t relate to. I saw the emotions they felt better than they could, I felt turmoil in ways they didn’t, and I was always seeking to repair hurt feelings. Despite many assumptions that I had the qualities of a “leader,” I was happier following my brothers’ lead, whereas they constantly battled for who would call the shots. My brothers were born protectors. They looked out for me, protected me, and tried to shield me from poor choices and mistakes. Despite the freedom we had to explore the world however we saw fit, we couldn’t help but approach it differently. My brothers are male and interacted as such; I am female and likewise interacted with the world in my own, very different way.
Modeling Complementarianism
My parents modeled (and still do to this day) the beauty of a complementarian marriage. My dad loves my mom, with a self-sacrificing love; he listens to her opinions and she gives input in every decision they make. My dad sought to provide for, lead, and protect his family. Likewise, my mom respects and submits to my dad as the ultimate authority of their home. My mom is such a strong woman of faith and strength that even when she disagrees with my dad, she still submits to his final decision because she trusts God with her future. Her biggest focus was our home, nurturing and raising her children and supporting my dad by providing peace and respect.
My dad was the authority of our home, not in a heavy-handed way, but through love that allowed my mom to trust him. By seeing their unity, we as children respected them both. My parents complement one another as they both fulfill the roles they were given, and our home, though imperfect, reflected Christ and the church in such a way that I learned from an early age what the Gospel looks like in life.
Now as a woman, married and raising two boys of my own, I see again the differences of the genders. There are aspects of my sons (most clearly in my toddler) that I cannot relate to. It doesn’t matter that my son’s favorite color is purple and he loves tea parties, his maleness is still his core and a gift from our Creator, and only my husband can really understand those aspects of him. I treasure the fact that our home has so much diversity. I find peace in resting in the design God provides, trusting his will over our family as I submit to my husband and he faithfully leads us in Christ.
Reactionary Feminism
Feminism just doesn’t allow for that, because feminism is merely a reaction to male chauvinism. Unfortunately, I think both are deeply flawed. Chauvinism is flawed at its core because it asserts that males are superior to females, and thus it excuses things like abuse and inequality because it claims women are worth less than men. This is very clearly deplorable, and it is responsible for some heinous crimes. It is not at all what God designed. The destruction resulting from chauvinistic behaviors and ideas is horrible.
But feminism, in seeking to correct the mistake of chauvinism, has committed its own destructive errors. By its reactionary nature it seeks to annihilate the differences that exist between male and female. It claims they do not exist. It has mistaken equality with sameness. However, God created men and women equally and differently . God’s kingdom is diverse, and to try and do away with that diversity is not only flawed but it also leads to danger. When we try and deny reality, we often leave a wake of destruction, and the feminist movement has left quite a wake.
Biology’s Reality
Because feminism is so focused on eliminating the differences between men and women in the name of “equality,” it excuses and even champions things like abortion because our biology doesn’t support a sameness between sexes. Our biology shouts our differences. Women are the ones who bear and nourish our children. Biologically, women cannot be removed from this reality, so in an effort to eradicate diversity feminism puts itself behind abortion so that our “responsibilities” toward our offspring are leveled. Because women cannot physically flee from motherhood, abortion has become the answer. Instead of calling men to accept their responsibility as fathers even though they are not physically burdened with a child, feminism seeks to bring women down to the irresponsibility of abandoning children in the name of “equality”.
Chauvinism makes it very apparent that our world is full of brokenness and that humanity steeped in sin, but feminism isn’t the answer to that. Only Christ is. As feminism steps in to correct the mistakes of chauvinism, it does so with its own flawed ethos. The only way to correct the mistakes of both chauvinistic and feministic tendencies is to return to God’s design and what he has described for us.
Diversity and Equality
Diversity is a good thing. We need the qualities that both men and women carry; they are equal in value and equally necessary for understanding the whole of who God is. He has made men and women in his image, he has made us unique, and he has given us equally important and differing roles within his kingdom.
I am unwilling to sacrifice real diversity in the name of so-called “equality”. I’ve seen what true equality and diversity look like: they exist together and complement one another perfectly. And I know that’s what God’s kingdom looks like. I know God made me uniquely female, and I celebrate my womanhood as God designed it: my ability to bear, nurture and raise my children, and my choice to submit to my husband because my faith is in my God, not myself or my husband. I am thankful that my female mind operates differently than a man’s mind, because our different perspectives complete the picture together.
Feminism isn’t good enough because its vision is too small, homogenous, and a poor representation of reality. God’s kingdom is diverse, and it is by our diversity that we understand him better.
Can we really understand God if we seek to annihilate the differences of the sexes that he created?
Disclaimer: RAAN is an organization committed to providing a variety of Reformed voices a platform to share their content. While our contributors subscribe to the basic tenets of Reformed thought, they offer a diverse number of opinions on various topics. As such, our staff members may not share our contributors’ opinions and publishing this content shouldn’t be viewed in such a way.
Mezzula5,
Thank you for your comment!
You’re question is a valid one, but I think it’s important to clarify a few things before I address it directly.
I think it’s important to identify Feminism correctly. The positive things you’re referring to are attributed to what Feminists refer to as “First-wave feminism” (the suffragette movement of the 1800s); but that’s a rather erroneous title as the suffragette’s vehemently denied being associated with the term “feminist” and only a few outliers and extremists referred to themselves as “feminist”. The term Feminist didn’t become a label officially until the 1960s where is widely accepted as a movement born from the sexual revolution, Feminists refer to this as “Second-Wave Feminism”.
The differences of the Suffragist movement and the Feminist movement of the 1960s are stark, and I think it is erroneous to consider them the same. It is important to distinguish the two, I believe they are separate entities and very different.
So I am all for the benefits gained by the Suffragist movements, i.e., secondary education, women’s right to vote, legal rights for married women, and protection from abuse.
The Feminist movement of the 1960s and on gained few rights, and I think a majority of those rights are actually harmful to women, i.e., their biggest champion of Roe vs Wade.
So with the distinction of the Suffragists and Feminists, I think we’d both agree the Suffragist movement (though not perfect) gained us many good things, it was also a movement that was started by Christian women looking to help the oppressed. Feminism however (as distinguished from 1960 and on) is rooted in the sexual revolution and as such it is flawed in its approach even if its motives seem positive.
As for your question “Isn’t there a positive aspect of feminism to offset the negative”?
Considering one of the negatives of feminism has resulted in death of millions of children (i.e. abortion) I think it would be fair to compare it to something like, say Fascism, which was also responsible for the murder of millions of innocent people. Nazi Germany resulted in many advances in medicine, transportation (the Autobahn was one of Hitler’s greatest achievements), and engineering. Were the positive aspects of Nazi Germany enough to offset its negatives?
My point is that Feminism is rooted in an idea that is antithetical to Christian thinking and because of this it has caused harm even as it tried to correct the harm of others. When we approach these social problems (like men’s treatment of women and the rights of the oppressed) if we are approaching them from a place that isn’t rooted in Christ we are doomed to make mistakes that are just as harmful as the mistakes we are seeking to correct.
Thank you again for your comment!
Lydia
FYI: The Feminist movement has been around for a long time…
.
How Feminism Works
by Cristen Conger
http://people.howstuffworks.com/feminism1.htm
…
The Revolutionary War in 1774 and the French Revolution in 1789 also advanced the concept of women’s freedom. Both revolutionary themes focused on mankind’s equality, although women’s equality wasn’t highlighted. Nevertheless, by mobilizing more women politically and establishing a consensus of freedom as a human right, those events laid the groundwork for early feminism.
Amid that turbulence, in 1792, Mary Wollstonecraft published one of the seminal works of modern feminism. The “Vindication of the Rights of Women” argued for the equal education of women, allowing them to become whole, independent people. She reasoned that the current educational systems restricted women’s potential to contribute to the betterment of society, as well as the family and home. Her book was one of the first to clearly and forcefully outline a need for change, and early feminists would look to it as an enduring guide.
…
__________
???
“[The feminist agenda] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” — Pat Robertson, Christian broadcaster
__________
Mezzula5,
Thank you for your comment!
You’re question is a valid one, but I think it’s important to clarify a few things before I address it directly.
I think it’s important to identify Feminism correctly. The positive things you’re referring to are attributed to what Feminists refer to as “First-wave feminism” (the suffragette movement of the 1800s); but that’s a rather erroneous title as the suffragette’s vehemently denied being associated with the term “feminist” and only a few outliers and extremists referred to themselves as “feminist”. The term Feminist didn’t become a label officially until the 1960s where is widely accepted as a movement born from the sexual revolution, Feminists refer to this as “Second-Wave Feminism”.
The differences of the Suffragist movement and the Feminist movement of the 1960s are stark, and I think it is erroneous to consider them the same. It is important to distinguish the two, I believe they are separate entities and very different.
So I am all for the benefits gained by the Suffragist movements, i.e., secondary education, women’s right to vote, legal rights for married women, and protection from abuse.
The Feminist movement of the 1960s and on gained few rights, and I think a majority of those rights are actually harmful to women, i.e., their biggest champion of Roe vs Wade.
So with the distinction of the Suffragists and Feminists, I think we’d both agree the Suffragist movement (though not perfect) gained us many good things, it was also a movement that was started by Christian women looking to help the oppressed. Feminism however (as distinguished from 1960 and on) is rooted in the sexual revolution and as such it is flawed in its approach even if its motives seem positive.
As for your question “Isn’t there a positive aspect of feminism to offset the negative”?
Considering one of the negatives of feminism has resulted in death of millions of children (i.e. abortion) I think it would be fair to compare it to something like, say Fascism, which was also responsible for the murder of millions of innocent people. Nazi Germany resulted in many advances in medicine, transportation (the Autobahn was one of Hitler’s greatest achievements), and engineering. Were the positive aspects of Nazi Germany enough to offset its negatives?
My point is that Feminism is rooted in an idea that is antithetical to Christian thinking and because of this it has caused harm even as it tried to correct the harm of others. When we approach these social problems (like men’s treatment of women and the rights of the oppressed) if we are approaching them from a place that isn’t rooted in Christ we are doomed to make mistakes that are just as harmful as the mistakes we are seeking to correct.
Thank you again for your comment!
Lydia
I understand what you’re saying. The main focus seems to be about how feminism impacts diversity and gender equality. But isn’t there a positive aspect of feminism to offset the negative? My dear sister, I thank God for the feminist movement in America because it was the catalyst that allowed me to comfortably read a woman’s writing on the internet today. And I am able to appreciate your intelligence without feeling condescending about it (as in she’s only a woman so what she says really doesn’t amount to much). And it’s because of the feminist movement in America that you are able to vote, pursue a career of your choice, and walk beside your man (rather than behind him). It seems that along with the negative results of feminism there came a great deal of positive gains that this society ought to be thankful for. And finally, you are blessed to not have to wear a burka and be relegated to second class citizenship like women in some of the other societies around the globe. In my opinion and observation the feminist movement has helped to bring some humility to the males’ overabundance of pride. And it has helped to bring a healthy sense of self worth to the the women of America. It’s possible that only God really knows how the feminist movement fits into His grand scheme of things. This is just one man’s opinion.
Peace,
Mezzula5